A mum whose life was torn apart by the brutal murder of her daughter is still "broken" by her death 10 years on.
Natalie Jarvis, 23, was stabbed 20 times in the neck by her boyfriend, Adam Whelehan, on October 3, 2012, in Swanley Village, Kent.
Her mother, Adele, recently gathered with family and friends to commemorate the 10 year anniversary, taking a shot of Sourz in tribute and releasing balloons into the sky.
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But after sitting to eat with her loved ones, she suddenly broke down, the pain of losing her precious child still so excruciating.
“I had all these people there and I was trying to let them know I was alright but as I sat down with dinner I just burst into tears,” the 59-year-old tells the Daily Star a few days on.
“I kept saying sorry and they were telling me to not dare apologise. I felt like I had a massive weight on my chest and it wouldn’t go away.
“It’s very difficult. The closest way of imagining is looking at your children and thinking which one you could live without.
“It’s just so hard. I tell people I’m blagging my way through life. I have to let my family and friends know I am OK, and I am OK, but I am broken.”
One year after the sickening crime, Whelehan he received a life sentence to serve a minimum of 26 years for the senseless murder.
“If I’m honest I cannot believe where the 10 years have gone,” Adele says over the phone on her day off from work. “It just feels like yesterday, it’s so raw.
“I wish everyday for karma. Why did he kill her? We have no answers and we will never know. These scum have no idea of the devastation they cause.
“The only people who have a clue how horrific it is are sadly some of my new friends whose children have been murdered. One said to me even though the end result is the same, her son did not die like Natalie did.
“He died from a punch but my daughter died fighting for her life.”
On the night of the grisly murder, Whelehan, from Sidcup, asked Natalie out for a late night drive after she finished her shift at McDonald’s.
He picked her up at 10.30pm but he secretly had a knife with him and his friend, who was later cleared of murder, was hiding in the boot.
Whelehan, then 23, soon stopped in a dark country car park where the pair got out. That's when he stabbed his on and off girlfriend repeatedly with the multi-tool to end the relationship.
And as she lay dying on the road near her home in Swanley, she begged the killer to call her mum. But he returned to the car and drove away before handing himself in hours later.
Natalie meanwhile was found alone bleeding from the head and neck by passers-by and was declared dead by paramedics at 11.30pm.
Now Adele, who was told by police the following morning, says: “If Natalie had died of an illness I would still be heartbroken but it would have been more normal.
“But when they came in and said they found her body and Natalie had been murdered it felt like a punch in the face I can tell you.”
Cowardly Whelehan argued it was self-defence and pleaded not guilty but the prosecution told the court how he had spent weeks plotting the murder after 1,200 texts between him and his pals were exposed.
After the verdict, Detective Inspector Gavin Moss said: “It beggars belief what that poor girl must have gone through in that time.”
Adele then requested to visit Whelehan behind bars, but this was denied.
“He said he killed her in self-defence,” she says with disgust 10 years on. “My daughter went out in her pyjamas and dressing gown, she did not have a clue what was coming to her.
“It’s too late to see him now. If he had any remorse, which he didn’t in court, he might have written to us or asked to see us sooner. Now it’s too late. We don’t need to wait for 16 years when his parole comes up. He would only be doing it for his benefit and not mine.”
Natalie is honest about her struggles and is sometimes overcome with fury thinking about what happened to her daughter.
“I am angry all the time,” she says. “My fuse is 0 to 60 in a second and I fly off the handle about absolutely nothing.
“My husband will walk in and I am crying and he wants to know what has set it off. But it’s what’s in my head. It’s what I live with everyday.”
Over the last decade two things in particular have kept Adele going – her other daughter, Gemma, and working in Tesco where she has grafted for 26 years.
She says her job “keeps her sane” and as for Gemma, she adds: “My other daughter is everything to me and she is the reason I’ve kept going.
“The only reason I am here is Gemma, she is everything, but she can’t see it.”
Downing Sourz on the 10th anniversary was in memory of Natalie who loved the shots, even having a tattoo of one on her foot.
And reflecting on some good times with Natalie, Adele laughs: “Her laughter and cheekiness. She used to say ‘I’m not eating that rubbish’ when I served dinner.
“Nat would then ask for her Chinese even though her order was just sweet and sour chicken balls and a portion of chips. You'd only have a £20 to give her and you wouldn't see the change.
“She was very cheeky, very loud and very lovable. I have so many good memories and that makes it harder. She wasn’t an angel but she was normal.
“She was just amazing and I’m not just saying it. Both of my daughters are really special to me.
“This should never have happened.”
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